Zerorin, Ichirun and the Cafe of LOVE
by vanila-chan
Summary: Zero Ichiru have a very important mission from the Cross. To lure out a physcotic noble vampire who happens to be gay for the night class vampires to catch, and they need some dresses on this mission. Light Kiryuu twincest/shounen-ai one-shot.


The characters and all that stuff are (c) of Matsuri Hino-sensei's Vampire Knight~

And this story is mine=D

* * *

"Zero! Ichiru!"

"What is it Yuuki?" Zero asked as the two twins turned around, to face the panting girl.

"C-Chairman… w-wants to see you…. in the office… now." She said between breaths.

"Hnn… what does that idiot want now?" Zero mumbled in annoyance.

"No idea." Yuuki replied as she caught her breath.

"Well, common Zero, lets go find chairman then. Thanks Yuuki for coming to tell us!" Ichiru said, giving a nod in Yuuki's direction and dragged Zero with him to find chairman.

* * *

"What do you want?" Zero asked bluntly as they opened the door to Cross' office.

"Ahhh!! Zerorin and Ichirun!!"

"Call us by our names." Ichiru said in annoyance.

"What did you call us here for Cross?"

"Zerorin!!! You never call me daddy!!"

"OF COURSE NOT!! Who would want to call a sick bastard like you dad?!!"

"ZEROOOO!!!!!!!"

"Stoopp abusing my Zero!!" Ichiru pouted as he hugged Zero's arm.

"I'm not anybody's Zero." =_=

SNAP! SNAP!

"Chairman…what are you doing?!"

"Preserving these special moments of brotherly loooove~" he said in a happy floaty voice as sparkles surrounded him- and no chairman Kurosu is not a shiny Edward Cullen vampire, he's just a happy fangirly fatherXD

"Can we just get down to business already?!" Zero said annoyed from where he was being glomped by Ichiru.

"Yes." The chairman said suddenly getting to his serious face as he straightened his glasses, "Zerorin and Ichirun, you two shall go on a very very important mission. You two are in charge of luring out some dangerous vampires, but these aren't your normal Level E vampires, they are a group of nobles that are sucking the blood of innocent people, I want you 2 to lure them out then Kaname and a group of other nobles will finish them off. But for this mission to be a success, you two will have to wear this." Two dresses were shoved into their faces.

"There is no way in hell that I am wearing that!" Zero said with clenched teeth, '_stupid stupid chairman, what kind of joke is he playing on them?!'_

"I agree with Zero and we aren't vampire bait."

"Sigghh… I knew you would say this, if you don't do it, I will have to ask Yuuki to do it." Zero picked up the red Lolita dress he threw on the floor and headed to the toilet in the office to change. -Yess!! His blackmail worked!

"Put this on too!" Chairman Kurosu said chucking some fluffy grey thing at Zero, Zero caught it, it was two clip-on pony tails, Zero grimaced at it, _'but at least Yuuki would be safe now.'_ He reminded himself.

"Zero!! What are you doing!" Ichiru squawked in surprise when he finally found his voice again, _'my stupid, stupid brother, he's so easily manipulated by the chairman, the idiot obviously loved his adopted daughter too much to let her become bait, but after all love was blind,'_

Moments later Zero came out of the bathroom blushing madly while in a red Lolita dress. "Ahhhhh!!! My dear son looks so cute in a dress!!!" Kaien squealed as he proceeded to take a million pictures of Zero, reluctantly Ichiru also mentally agreed with Cross, and he felt sickened by this fact since he looked exactly like Zero. There was absolutely _no way_ he would look good in a dress, his man pride will never allow it!!

"Ichirun-chan!~ It's your turn now!!" the chairman sang with a maid costume in his hand.

"No."

"But, if you don't do it, I will have to ask my dear Yuuki-chan to do it!"

Once that left the chariman's mouth, Zero abruptly grabbed Ichiru, '_Ohh craaappp…. This isn't good…'_ Ichiru gulped, "Zero, what are you doing?"

"You are going to wear that dress."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Ten minutes of struggling and screaming later, Ichiru was in a maid costume with his cross academy uniform confiscated somewhere, hidden by the chairman.

"I hate you Zero."

"Yeah, I love you too." Zero replied.

"Sooo…. You 2 ready for your mission?"

"No."

"Yes we are." Zero said, ignoring what his brother just said.

"Well good~ Follow this map and you shall get to your destination~~" the chairman said merrily as he handed Zero the map.

"Well this is going to be fun." Ichiru said, sarcasm dripping of his voice like venom.

* * *

"I can't believe you would force me to put on a dress and go vampire baiting with you, all because of Yuuki! That hurts brother, that really hurts, does Yuuki mean so much more to you then I do?" Ichiru pouted with a fake hurt expression.

Zero ignored him, was it just him or did he hear fangirl squeals? Nahh he was probably just imagining it. While Zero was lost in his thoughts, Ichiru had continued on ranting, "Sighhh, Zero, you are too easily manipulated by Kaien, all he had to do was mention Yuuki and you would do whatever his command is! You know brother, you sometimes are a real big idiot, if you refused to do this mission, do you think that Kurosu would seriously ask Yuuki to do it instead?!! That man loves her too much to actually do it! I can't believe an idiot like is my bro-"

"We are here." Zero said cutting Ichiru off, when he looked up at their destination, he wanted to puke.

They were standing in front of a café, the disgustingly sweet and girly decorations, it was adorned with lace and red and pink hearts. Café Ai (Café Love), a sign said in big curly wurly pink letters. Then there was a smell of cakes and chocolate that reached his sensitive vampire nose, Zero hated anything sweet- unless it was made by Yuuki.

"I am not going in there." Ichiru said firmly. Zero took a deep breath and composed himself, _'I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki,'_ he thought repeating the mantra in his head over and over again.

"Let's go." He said, as he grabbed Ichiru's hand and headed towards to the place of doom.

"WHAT?!! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! "

Ignoring Ichiru's cries for help, he took another deep breath and opened the door, he instantly cringed as the sound of music reached his ears.

_Kawaii momo o  
mitsukechatta Nan datte  
hoshihacchau!_

_Mori no naka de mo_

_Mizu no naka de mo_

_Doko made mo  
oikakechatte ii yo!_

Despite having strong urges to run away and hide in a closet away from the monstrous noise, he forced himself to go in. Kicking Ichiru to make sure he shut up, he went in with a half dazed Ichiru following in behind. The shop was relatively empty, dragging Ichiru along with him, they sat down in a relatively empty chair in an inconspicuous corner of the café.

_Yukute habamu Nankan  
toppa!  
_

'_It is just a song, I can survive this.'_

"Hello, how may I help you two?" asked a waitress in a frilly pink uniform full of lace.

_karaku nagetobashichau  
zo!_

'_Goshh!! The frillyness and pinkness of everything is not helping…'_

"A cup of hot chocolate please." Ichiru said with a fake smile to cover up his moodiness.

_Tanken Usa-shan to  
issho!_

'_Well Ichiru was a good actor, things like that could come handy in times like this.'_

"Bitter coffee." Zero said stiffly.

_Takarabako sagashite!_

'_Why do I feel like I'm being watched?'_ He glanced out of the cafe windows but saw nothing.

"Anything else? Any cakes? We sell the best most tasty sweet cakes here, you can try today's special, the Chocolate mudcake of happiness~"

_Waku waku suru you na  
yume no shima e_

'_Chocolate mudcake of happiness?!! What a sickeningly sweet name.'_

"Alright, I'll have that than." Ichiru said cheerily.

_Tanken Takashi mo  
issho!_

'_How could Ichiru want to eat that?! Oh well, at least someone was enjoying himself... but I still can't get rid of the creepy feeling of being watched, being in this dress must be making me feel edgy and paranoid.'_

"And you Miss?" she asked Zero, unaffected by the murderous aura he was giving off.

_Dakara daijoubu sa!  
_  
_'I am not and will not ever be a Miss, I am a guy!!! A man! A male!'_

"I'm good." He said with a forced smile.

_Uki uki suru you na tabi  
ni deyou!  
_

'_This is plain torture.'_

"Gosh you look like you desperately need to go to the toilet." Ichiru commented as the waitress left with their orders.

_Dokidoki_

Zero ignored him, clenching his fists trying not to grab his bloody rose and shoot the recorder.

"If you're going to suffer this much, why did you drag us in here in the first place?!"

_Ureshii koto ga atta hi  
wa Megatonkyuu no  
sumairu de!_

'_I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki, I'm doing this for Yuuki,'_

"And Anyways it's not that bad, don't you remember you used to like chocolate Zero?"

_Ochikonnde iru kimi ni  
happii Takusan wakete  
ageru yo!_

'_I liked chocolate?!!'_

"C'mmon Zero! Turn that frown into a smile~!" Ichiru said, his moodiness forgotten, at a chance to tease his brother, moving forward, with 2 fingers he poked at Zero's mouth in attempts to make him smile, "See not that hard is it?"

"Hnn." Zero grimaced, slapping Ichiru's hands away, with a grim smile on his face.

_Mahou no tsue de_

Ichiru always knew how to make him feel better.

"Here's your Long black, your hot chocolate and your chocolate mudcake of happiness."

_Hitofurisuru to_

'_Siggh... stupid women, stupid song... gyahhhhh!!!'_ And now Zero was a moody sourpuss again, for him seeing someone covered in so much frills and pink was just agony.

"Thank you~" Ichiru said with a blinding smile plastered onto his face.

"Welcome ," turning to Zero she said, "Miss, you have a very nice maid here."

_Usa-chan ga Kuma-chan  
ni henshin_

Zero just nodded, _'Yes, yes whatever. Just go already!'_

"I'm just curious, how did you 2 get into a relationship?"

'_WHAT THE HELL?!!'_ he gripped his coffee tightly.

_Kore, Tama-chan no  
Kuma-chan da_

"I know I'm not supposed to ask customers about their personal lives but I'm just so curious."

'_Yes you're not, now go!!'_ he thought gripping his coffee even tighter, _'Calm down, calm down!!'_

_Konna no kawaikunaii_

"Since it's a forbidden love between the mistress and her maid,"

_Doki Doki! Waku Waku!_

'_What the bloody ^&*(*&^&*(*&*(&?!!!!' _he was gripping his cup very tightly now, he didn't care if the cup was burning against his hand because the coffee was still hot.

With dramatic tears rolling down her cheeks the oblivious waitress continued, "I want you two to know that I will always support you two! Such love!! It's so touching!! I wish you two to have a future full of happiness ahead of you! I hope that this beautiful chocolate mud cake of happiness that you two are sharing will show your seme and uke feelings for each other!"

_nya nya nya nya  
nya nya nya nya  
nya nya_

_nya nya NYA!_

Zero exploded, the cup in his hand that he was gripping exploded into millions of tiny glass pieces, and his blood flowed through his hand.

At the same instance, suddenly one of the customers burst from the table he was sitting, "I can't take it anymore! The blood of a young vampire boy!!!!bahahahhaahhahahha!!!" The phsycotic noble vampire! The waitress screamed in horror and fainted. Zero instinctively reached for his bloody rose, only to find that it wasn't there, '_damn it, how could I have so carelessly left it in my Cross uniform?!_'

But to be a vampire hunter, he had quick reaction time, so he quickly jumped up from the seat with Ichiru's cake fork for defence.

If it wasn't such a serious situation right then, Ichiru would have laughed at how stupid Zero looked. He quickly lifted the waitress up easily and put her against the wall, where she wouldn't get into harm's way. If it wasn't for his weak body, he would he be defeating the vampire right now. The only thing he could do now was watch over the waitress, and whatever idiotic staff or customer that was still standing in the café.

Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, and he was grabbed into a strong grip. Ichiru struggled and attempted to elbow his attacker in the stomach. He was freed as Zero stabbed the vampire in the arm with his fork. "Hmmm…have you been drinking blood off a pure blood boy?" the vampire asked licking Ichiru's blood that was smeared all over his face. With an angry roar, Zero charged at the vampire, ready to kill him with his very dangerous fork. But the noble was quick, using his special vampire magic, he glued Zero to the floor and bit into his neck. "So you've drank some pureblood's blood to huh?...Hmm two in fact!"

"Zero!!" Ichiru quickly grabbed a glass bottle and slammed it over the vampire's head. But his wrist was caught in a vice like grip. "Nnn." He grunted as he tried to wriggle out of his grasp, _'Dammit! If I don't stop him, Zero's gonna die!!!'_

Suddenly the Café windows were shattered, "Sorry we're late."

Ichiru never thought he would be happy to see that pureblood Kaname and his group of faithful followers. In an instant, the noble was engaged in a battle with the nobles, which ended abruptly as it cracked into millions of crystal pieces.

"Sorry, we didn't expect there would actually be a phychotic gay noble vampire here." Kaname apologised as he was tending to a very pissed off Zero (he hates vampires, expecially purebloods, why the heck would he ever want to be healed by one?!!)

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Zero asked sharply.

"You didn't expect the vampire to be here??"

"Ohh whoops, my bad, I guess I let the secret out then… you see the real reason why you're here dressed in Lolita and a maid costume is because chairman wanted to use you two to promote twincest in the whole school by giving out posters about this event, so the fangirls would all come and stand outside the café nosebleeding at you two. Then our night class fangirls would decrease, and be focused on you two, thus the night class' secret would be more secure."

And then all hell broke loose.

"KAIEN CROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" was heard all throughout the town, and the chairman was out of commission for many many weeks, lying in the Cross Academy's infirmary. Unfortunately the girls that were standing outside the café for the event had to have their memories washed because of the vampire scene. And there was peace within Cross Academy once more.

* * *

Hope you like it XD  
This fanfic took a looooooooooooooooonng time to write, done over the times when my internet was half dead and whenever i was procrasinating about doing hw

Anyways I was inspired to do this fanfic after drawing this pic, link down there:

http:// ness-chanxd. deviantart .com/art/Zerorin-and-Ichirun-159884362

(i made spaces inbetween some of it so that it'll work.)

By the way the song in the cafe is by Ayaka Saitou- Doki Doki Waku Waku, it's a really cute song which would annoy ppl stoic like ZeroXD


End file.
